2011 goals

And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation.
Psalm 35:9

As I begin the new year, I begin a renewing of my body and spirit. My goal for this new year is a healthier more joyful self. Many of you know my undying love for all things food. After my recent experience of trying out for Master Chef I realized how much of my personal joy is wrapped up in food. Before going any further you must realize I am in no way saying this is wrong, or that my experience has left me joyless in this area! I believe God gives us joy in all of his creation, whether it be the enormous mountains or the raging ocean, if it be each other or in the things we ourselves have the pleasure of creating! I will never minimize the blessings God gives us in enjoying food and drink and the time we spend with each other eating and drinking. Or the joy that is found in creating things to eat. I am simply recognizing my own propensity to put too much expectation for joy in food. Where it has taken on a role in my life that can at times cause me to be prideful in a hurtful way.

So that being said my two goals for the next year is first to be healthier, I am beginning a cleansing fast that I hope to continue for the entire month of January. I have researched and considered many way to go about this. I am choosing to follow the Daniel Fast. The main reason for this choice is a good friend of mine invited me to join a group that is doing this together. Support is going to be a huge factor in my success. It is also a very healthy diet consisting of mostly fruit,vegetables, legumes and whole grains, all things that I eat anyway! I will be fasting from dairy, meat, sugars and processed foods. I know the cheese is calling my name as we speak , and it took all i could muster to not grab some chocolate off the shelf at the store today! Those will be my biggest vices throughout this month. I know that if I can just get past the first two weeks I might have a chance! No worries I will be paying close attention to my protein intake and iron. And tracking my energy levels. The Daniel Fast in it's strictest form prohibits coffee, have no fear I too would like to still have 3 children when this is all over! That being said black coffee will remain a vital part of my morning and afternoon. My hope is that this hiatus from a life focused on the next meal will give me some perspective. It will cause me to shift my source of joy back to where it should be, people and Jesus.

I am not sure when it happened or how but somewhere along the way I have lost some joy. Ok a lot of joy You know it and I know it, I have warped into this crabby frustrated complaining old hag. LOL I can laugh because I said it myself! This last year it has been a struggle for me to see the goodness in Gods plan, I have found myself questioning His love and promises of Joy. Why do we have to live in this struggle for joy? I know without a doubt that out God is a loving father who want s nothing more than to see his children shout with joy and laugh until we cry, not occasionally but daily! I know that this world is FULL up of sadness and sorrow and depravity but why do we need to let it get to us so much? I have spent the last year agonizing over the whys behind so many tragedies I have watched around me, children abused by their "protectors" , illness and disease ravaging homes and leaving loved ones confused and bitter, senseless and brutal violence towards undeserving and helpless victims. I hardly doubt I need to go on . I have also seen those same tragedies bring people together in a way that can only be a testament to the power of hope and faith. Hope in perfect world and perfect existence. A faith in each other as we catch glimpses of the children god created us to be. The people he designed us to become in His perfection. I have watched as a mother surrounds her family with as many moments of joy as she can, while she watches as cancer tries to steal her baby. I have seen relationships torn by time and pain rebuilt with joy and love and perseverance. I have seen the selflessness of a community poured into one family until they were so blessed with stuff they could hardly speak. I have also watched as families crumbled around me because thieves snuck
in and stole their joy in each other. So here it is my confession, I have allowed something to steal my joy and I will be finding it again. In my family for the sake of them. But most importantly in my God who is my salvation, who gives joy, who created joy. I will take a lesson from those families, that in the midst of their sorrow, have shown me how to have joy despite circumstances. I will be devoting time to seeking Joy in our Lord through prayer and reading of scripture. My hope is that as I begin this year you will join with me in prayer to guard your own hearts from the things and people and circumstances that try to steal you joy that you would with me give thanks to our creator who has blessed us with each other and his vast creation to find joy in.